‘I just wanted to thank you for all your help. You have not just helped me to overcome my problems with eating but you opened my eyes to the harsh realities of the world. Although the world might not always be the nicest place I feel strong enough now to cope with it.’
19 year old relapsed eating disorder client, female
‘The last 20 minutes of our first session was like the last two years of my previous therapy rolled into that one moment. During and after our sessions, I can feel the difference straight away. I come out most weeks completely and utterly stunned at what’s gone on, whereas in my previous therapy I found it quite slow going. I come out amazed, an entertaining experience. Even though it is me that’s the client, I find the dynamics of the session absolutely fascinating – there is an awful lot of movement and never a dull second. The topics and depths that it addresses goes to depths that I never knew existed and never knew were important and never knew where there and does it in an environment where it is safe to do that. Safety of the environment does help with the depth – but it’s more the speed that has evolved between me and the therapist and the model. The model is flexible and uses whatever is relevant to my experience at the time which makes it comfortable and fits it – it moulds itself along with what is happening in the session. It’s just great not to have someone rigidly sticking to one model only and then feeling trapped in it. The money spent has made me enrich my life, and the important thing is I can feel it and it moves me forwards and is worth every penny. There is also the sheer entertainment value of what on earth will we discover next! So here, I feel worth the money spent, where previously I didn’t feel worth it, but just observing the force of the dynamics that is going on – that alone makes it worth the money.’
55 year old client, male
‘At the point of coming to you, we were at breaking point over issues that were not known to us. The unsolvable questions/problems that were breaking us apart were getting worse and worse over time. During the time at Resonance, we have both discovered a lot about ourselves and each other.
‘Being male, it is sometimes difficult to explain and deal with feelings. There was one moment that after my fiancée had a session with you, she came back, found her voice and finally attempted to understand life from my point of view. She finally understood me! To say my heart broke in a good way is an understatement. To this day I do not know how you managed to work your magic but the effect is immeasurable…Work/family issues pale into insignificance when you have the love of your life given back to you.’ [Male partner]
You have been able to make myself more aware of my feelings and also to some extent why I feel them. This is invaluable since now I feel that I have a voice and there is someone there to listen to it, firstly it was you, but now mainly it is me listening to my own voice – that sounds really weird!! Thank you for all your work. My life has improved beyond all expectations. Me and [my partner] have developed a trust that can no longer be torn apart and I feel that we have such a special bond and to imagine that that could have been lost is unbearable. [Female partner]
Late 20 year old couple client
‘Over recent months you have been involved in counselling one of my employees who was enduring severe personal difficulties that were having a profound effect on their performance within the business. I am delighted to report that since the completion of your counselling (within the stated timescale), we have witnessed a quite remarkable change in the employee’s ability to cope with the demands of the job they do and the way that they relate to the other employees in the business.
I am quite sure that with your help we have prevented the likely breakdown of a member of staff and gained a much more valuable and effective colleague at the same time. I would like to thank you for your help and would be happy to provide a reference for your services at any time.’
Mark Finlayson, MD (Communications and Security industry)
‘My choice to seek some counseling was met with a lot of skepticism from my family, who did not understand or believe in the process. They kept telling me that anybody could have told me these things. Anybody COULD have told me these things – but in 28 years, nobody had! Maybe in another 28 years somebody would have done, but it wasn’t worth the wait.’
28 year old client, male
‘At first I felt I had paid you all this money to find out that I was just a cold heartless bitch…! I didn’t mind being hit by an emotional truck, but when you insisted on going over me backwards and forwards I did rather want to object! Therapy has really saved my life – I would never have committed suicide, but I just did not know where to go with my frustration, despair and anger with life. Now I have the tools to take with me wherever I go, I am mature at last, and even my friends and certainly my family have noticed the huge difference. I understand so much about my past now that I really can look forwards to my future!’
57 year old client, female
‘I learnt more about God’s love for me in one year of therapy than I did in 19 years of going to church.’
55 year old client, female
‘The therapy cut to the heart of my family issues in the first session. It was like a jigsaw puzzle to me, but my therapist took the pieces apart and put them back together, the right way round. I realised I had misunderstood some of the events in my childhood and thanks to my therapist, I am now able to move on. I see life and my past more clearly and this has helped me move forward in much more positive way.’
62 year old client, male
‘Desperation brought me into counselling, a question of wondering why my life was going around in circles and I was never able to sustain success having worked so hard to achieve it time after time. The huge simultaneous explosions in my life were that a relationship had hit the rocks with the possibility of being duped into buying a house I could never have lived in, and being betrayed at work where the person I had helped into senior management stepped over me and tried to take over my job. This formed my depression, panic attacks first which destroyed my ability to think clearly, leaving me with no control over my work situations and unable to do anything about it.
I was prescribed anti-depressant medication but was robbed by the drug of my ability to think logically. Although it did calm me down emotionally, I would just freeze mentally and physically and sit in the shell of my body for an hour before I could force myself up. The effect of taking the drugs was even worse than the original situation that I was in and made me very emotional, bursting into tears with no provocation, and robbing me of the very little confidence I had left. Resonance was the only therapy route available that I could obtain any meaningful alternative information about. The therapy was the best value for money that I have ever spent in my life. I discovered I had been cocooned in many false belief systems that had taken over my life, leading me into an artificial existence. Within 3 weeks of therapy at a frequency of twice a week, I came off the medication because I was learning more about my condition and saw that the drugs just kept up a mask. If I wanted to see things clearly, I needed to remove that mask. The anti-depressant was a very vicious drug that removed the ability to think for myself and made me more vulnerable and accepting of the abuse around me, robbing me of my free will, thinking and evaluation.
Therapy helped me understand that I had rescued others and forgotten about me. I couldn’t see my own identity and it was scary to discover you don’t know who you are. It was the first step to a greater inner confidence and inner strength. It helped me to be more insightfully emotional rather than just survive on instincts and logic. Once you start thinking emotionally the anger that has been in you till you find out who you are starts to wane. I could stand up for my self and start fighting for who I was rather than just let someone walk in and take away everything I built up for the last five years. I stopped the rescuing of others and rescued myself. I am now in a happy relationship, and discovered friendships I previously thought I was not good enough for. I have stopped avoiding my family, and am now in control of my job and my future career plans. I am not a puppet. You can take the drugs, which were the most destructive I had ever had in my life because they shut me down mentally. Or go through the process and make your own conclusions from therapy. It does need your time and a commitment to yourself, that you re-educate yourself and apply it outside of the sessions.’
37 year old client, male
‘It is hard to put into words how therapy helps me because it encompasses so many aspects of life at so many different levels. I have been attending weekly sessions for nearly a year now, but feel I have only just scratched the surface. On the outer surface it would appear to most people (including some close friends and family members) that I am an independent, self-sufficient individual with qualifications galore and a highly paid job to match. However, what lies underneath any exterior is quite a different matter altogether! I say this because a year ago I laughed when a very close friend of mine suggested that I might benefit from dealing with my underlying personal issues by talking to a therapist. “You must be joking,” I protested. “I don’t need professional help, I’m not mad!” Luckily I found the courage and swallowed my pride to take that first initial step; it’s not easy, but the rewards so far have been fantastic.
So far, for me therapy has been all about understanding why and how some of my behavioural patterns occur, whether alone or interacting with others. More importantly it bares the very essence of who you really are. For the first time ever I am actually beginning to like the ‘real’ me, and I’m starting to trust my own judgement without the repercussions of shame, guilt and worry. The therapy milieu is totally safe, and for one hour a week I can just ‘be me’ – what a relief! This of course starts to transcend into your everyday life, and I really feel that a big weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I am constantly amazed at the insights I am gaining from week to week, and have realised that it is only through interacting with my therapist via a ‘neutral’ space that I am able to acquire any real perspective. I’ve read all the ‘self help’ books, engaged in conversations with well-meaning friends, and believe me they don’t even come close to what this is really all about!’
37 year old client, female
‘During my therapy you have always encouraged me to be honest about how I felt about you. And to be honest with you when I have felt you have not understood me or that you have said something that has may be hurt me or I have felt uncomfortable with. When I have told you how I have felt you have always been willing to admit your ability to get things wrong and you have taken care to apologise and also ensure my feelings towards you have been resolved. Your concern has been me and you have never tried to defend yourself and you have owned the fact that like all of us you get things wrong. These times have been valuable lessons for me and have helped me to deal with conflict in relationships outside the counselling room and come to terms with the fact that mistakes in relationships are just mistakes and that I and others will always make them, but with honesty from both sides it is possibly to sort things out.
What was different about last week was that your apology was unsolicited by me and unconditional, because you said you did not pathologise me. I do not think anyone else has ever apologised in that way before. Even when you have apologised previously there has usually been a “yes, but…”. When this happens, it is hard for me not to interpret that as “it’s all my fault”.
Thinking about it afterwards I realised how important it was that you had understood me, because without it I feel I could have continued in therapy and I would have made progress, but this key issue would not have been touched. I would still have felt there was something more to deal with, but not knowing what it was. Even now as I write this I feel a sense of relief, hope and excitement that the inner pain I have lived with all my life can possibly be healed.’
47 year old client, female
‘It was bloody awful at first, but as it went on you could start to see some of the freedom and liberation from your fear starting to appear. I was in a terrible state but I am not so scared now. I was able to come off and stay off anti-depressant medication, and am in control to face my fears and to embrace them and deal with them rather than run away from them. I can now challenge people, especially the bullies, I got the strength back to believe in myself and what I am capable of doing. I was a shrivelling weed and now I am a bright sunflower, like the Van Gogh painting, definitely! Being in therapy was like a safe environment where you could be yourself and be guided and looked after, being cared for as well, almost holding my hand. I needed to express myself, my fears and emotions and therapy helped me to do that. It made me stronger in my relationships and I get more respect back from other people for being able to speak for myself. As I respect myself I don’t run after other people’s wishes to please them and I can see these people as childish rather than people who terrorise or terrify me, which I could not have done before.
The depth of the therapy was like an explosion of mixed and true emotions that I had to work on from my youth. As this came out, my friends thought I was going through the menopause. But the freedom was so good, all I could say was: ‘If this is the menopause, bring it on!’ But now I can control as well as console that pain from my past.’
51 year old client, female
‘When I called Resonance, I was suffering with a crippling anxiety that was affecting my day to day wellbeing, my relationships and my ability to cope with the realities of life. Having grown up in a repressed family unit in an area where psychotherapy was generally unheard of or regarded with a negative attitude, I had genuinely convinced myself that I was ‘mad’ by the time I was willing to look at what was wrong.
Through the patience, care and acceptance I have been shown at Resonance, I have come to a deeper understanding of myself as a person and the reasons behind my anxiety. I have realised in myself a wealth of potential, and with a great amount of support and guidance, I have been able to channel this potential effectively into many areas of my life. Therapy isn’t always easy, in fact at times it has been incredibly painful, but I have always felt that I am in extremely safe hands. It takes an enormous amount of courage and trust to be completely honest with both yourself and another person, but the rewards and changes I have experienced have been more than worth it. When I stop and look at all I have achieved and overcome emotionally, I am exceptionally grateful to Resonance.’
22 year old client, female
‘You had a remarkable facility for putting me at ease in almost no time at all. The sessions were relaxed – enjoyable even – but at the same time you got to the nub of the problem almost without my realizing what you were doing. I have no hesitation in recommending your services to friends and family should the occasion arise.’
48 year old client, male
‘I started therapy 4 years ago and am still continuing with it. So many of my relationships were strained and unhappy and however hard I tried they didn’t improve. Therapy helped me to step back and see things as they were, not how I wanted them to be. It showed me there is a way out of the maze. Facing the truth about myself and my relationships has, at times, been very painful but also rewarding and incredibly liberating.
Someone once said that the truth shall set you free. I have indeed found this to be the case.
Some may feel therapy is expensive but the benefits will last a lifetime, way beyond the time when the new clothes have gone out of fashion and the memories of the costly holiday have faded.
For the first time I feel I am an individual in my own right.’
55 year old client, female
‘As a result of our sessions, I started a computer course and despite another operation on my hand I am not so scared of dying as I was when I first saw you. Shockingly to us both I have bought another motorcycle after the accident which caused all my panic problems, but its just a 450cc motorcross bike to plod about on instead of tearing up the tarmac at 160+mph.
Even more shockingly I left the garage where I worked since I was a kid just after my operation and I haven’t spoken to my bullying boss since then (yes its all your fault). I would never have thought of it myself, but looking back now it was a wise choice and thanks for the advice as I now work in an office within an accident management company just dealing with motorcycle accidents. Funny thing to happen after my motorbike accident that started all this panic off!
I work 5 days and 37 hours a week as opposed to 54, I have a ten minute drive to and from work instead of a 45 minute one, I have a proper lunch break for a whole hour instead of 10 minutes, I dont get dirty at all, the pay is not quite as good but take out the travelling and the 17 hours a week I work less it equates quite nicely!!
Well I wont bore you anymore, but just look at your notes which I hope you will find time to do then you will see what a difference you have made to my life (its not perfect but there again who’s is?). Thanks for your help and if you ever need a good reference for your work then you’re welcome to pass people to me for recommendation.’
31 year old client, male
‘The initial introduction to the therapy seemed rather daunting but as time progressed it helped in pin pointing problem areas. It has helped me understand my emotions, self awareness, confidence & focus in my life. Our mind sets have changed about how we see husband & wife and allowed us not to be hard on our selves at the same time as dealing with issues. The benefits I have gained affect the whole outlook of my life. Where once I was not able to see ahead now there is a general well being which is enabling me to enjoy life. LIFE IS FOR LIVING. It may not seem that it is worth the money in the beginning, but give it time, patience and persistence and you will be surprised.’ [Male Partner]
I have been in therapy for 5 years now. When I first started I was misdiagnosed as an anorectic and relapsed twice from an eating disorder clinic. My first sessions were at home because I was severely underweight and could not drive. Slowly, I gained weight, began to drive, and now help out at our local playgroup and am a classroom assistant in a primary school. My social life changed drastically and I now meet and talk with more people than I did before my illness. I have discovered many interests through local activity groups and regained my confidence for life. I have gained over 27kgs in weight which I have maintained for months and no longer need to check up as before. The endless days when I was swamped with black clouds and constant torment and anxiety have broken into just minutes in which I struggle to regain my peace. And at last I feel like I can recover my relationship with my husband. I can overcome my fears, and it won’t be long before I can end them once and for all.’ [Female Partner]
Late 40 year old couple client
‘What brought me to therapy was an experience during my final year at theological college that finally killed any hope I had for myself. I think hearing what my therapist said in a subsequent lecture gave me one last glimmer of hope that things could change. And although I was not considering suicide at the time I began therapy, I think if I hadn’t entered therapy I think I might have come to that. This hope kept me in therapy in the early days. All I could do was hope that what my therapist had said was true. And it felt like my last chance and if it wasn’t true I really would give up on life altogether.
I think it was my therapist’s integrity that enabled me to continue to believe. Over the time we have worked together I think I have come to see him as a man who speaks truth. He is not into ‘bullshit,’ he speaks with honesty in a kind and often humorous way. All along my therapist has said that he doesn’t have all the answers and that he doesn’t want to control the sessions. I find this attitude comforting. The therapy remains mine, it feels like a journey taken together with an ‘expert navigator’ on hand for map reference rather than being a passenger being taken on a journey to where I need to get to.
It is hard to be definite about the positive benefits of my therapy experience as I am still in the process although there have been significant changes in how I feel about myself and how I relate to others. But the future hope that I have is that I expect to follow a totally new career as an artist. Not something I ever would have considered had I not worked with my therapist. Therapy has cost me every ounce of my being and a lot of money too but I still hang onto the promise that there is a life for me to live and I still believe in the hope for my future.’
47 year old client, female
‘I started therapy in the hope that it could help with my nerves when under certain types of pressure. It wasn’t a life-threatening problem but someone had said Resonance could help and I thought it was worth a try.
I’m very glad I did. As well as helping enormously with the original problem, therapy helped me overcome my shyness, something which I found intensely frustrating but believed I was just stuck with for life. I now feel more confident and, more importantly, more comfortable in my own skin.
I was concerned about the value of the therapy, which doesn’t come for free. However I reckoned that for the same cost as 25 sessions I could buy (for example) a fractionally newer car. 25 sessions in therapy has improved my quality of life enormously, and is something from which I will benefit for the rest of my life. Any short-term happiness I’d have gained from the fractionally newer car would be forgotten almost immediately.’
28 year old client, male
‘… leaving university was the best thing I ever did, it was scary but it took a lot of courage. I knew it was not right and it was not what I wanted to do, I felt a bit lost to start with but it was all worth it because I am happier now than I have ever been! …[the job I have now is] just so amazing. The people have taken me under their wing and are teaching me everything they know and it is so exciting because it is all so interesting! I have truly come out of myself; I am always chatting to everyone and always asking questions. I have come so far and I feel like me again but a more mature me who truly appreciates life as I know we only get one chance so I make the most of every second. Thank you SO much for all your help I would never be where I am now without your support. I am now a much stronger person and I know what I want out of life and will do what I can till I get it. I no longer hide away from a challenge instead I enjoy it because it makes life more interesting! Honestly if you saw me now you would think it was a different person, even I do not recognize myself in a suit. Hope you are ok and are still working your magic helping others as you did me. I am living proof that things do work out in the end you just have to give it time.’
19 year old relapsed eating disorder client, female, follow up research
‘Thank you for asking I’m doing pretty ok now, still work at the same place but have moved up to a much better job with MUCH better pay so that worked out ok, got married in Septeber 2005 and bought our first house in June last year! So thats all pretty good…I don’t have or ride motorcycles anymore…no more bikes for me, I went and bought a 300 BHP suburu impreza, thats my toy now and it’s much safer with 4 wheels, 4 wheel drive and airbags!!’
31 year old client, male, follow up research